Lack of Communication Means Lack of Leadership

Effective leadership depends on effective communication.

Unfortunately, effective leadership is sadly lacking in all levels of our society.

A miserable, but typical, lack of leadership jumped out at me at a recent High School junior varsity football game.

And as usual, this lack of leadership involved the Number One sin of “pretend leaders” - lack of communication.

This story involved a freshman blocking back in his third JV game.

Through most of the first half, he performed his job effectively blocking for the running backs. One of those blocks actually led to his team’s only touchdown.

Near the end of the first half, as can be predicted, the “coach” called a play where the blocking back would carry the ball.

On the play, he was stripped of the ball as he was being tackled.

The opposing player who stripped the ball ran 30 yards, untouched, for a touchdown. This touchdown put them ahead by 16 points.

Remember I mentioned the running back’s team only scored one touchdown on his block.

Can you imagine the embarrassment of having an opposing player take the ball away from you and return it for a touchdown!

What would you do as that running back’s coach?

I hope you would not do what most “pretend leaders” do. Nothing.

What was more shocking about this total lack of leadership was that both coaches, the head coach and assistant coach, let this totally embarrassed player walk off the field without saying one word to him. Zero Communication.

Let’s examine the word – coach.

This was a teachable moment.

A real coach would have called the player over to console, encourage, and instruct him.

A real coach would have reminded the player that even Pro Bowl players fumble the ball once in a while.

A real coach would have shown his confidence in the player, in front of the other players. He must have had confidence in the player if he had played him at that position in the two previous games.

What’s really interesting in this sad tale of miserable leadership is that the blocking back, the night before, had run the ball once in the varsity game and gained eight yards.

I am not being fair to this “coach.”

He did communicate with player. This brilliant coach did not play him at running back the rest of the game. And, he limited his play on defense to two plays on special teams. He very effectively communicated his displeasure to the player.

A real coach would have put the player back in the game immediately and call a play allowing the running back to carry the ball again. I guarantee he would not fumble the ball this time.

Even if you know nothing about football, you know and understand the traits of a leader.

These traits include communication, vision, and risk-taking.

OBJECT LESSON

We suffer from a miserable lack of leadership here in the USA. Why?

Let’s extend this story about this football player out 20 years. He is now 34 years old and has received a promotion to manage a department or division.

When he gets into a situation where an employee makes a mistake, what management approach do you think he will take?

Will he take the employee aside to explain, expand by example, and encourage.
Or will he embarrass the employee in front of his co-workers?

The basic problem with our lack of leadership in America is that we lack role models.

Look at the corporate world. Look at our political “leaders.” Look at some of the doings of religious leaders.

We see models of greed, awful decision making, lying to the public, immorality, and total lack of regard for the jobs they were elected to perform.

Where does all this start?

Think about the first influences kids see – parents, family, teachers and administrators, religious leaders, police, celebrities, politicians, video games, music.

What are you doing if you are one of those influences listed above to help inspire, train, and encourage our future leaders?

Are you too wrapped up in your own world of daily pressures to think about how your behavior molds the character of the people around you?

Are you a youth “coach” trying to recapture your youth through the kids you’re supposed to be coaching? Did you forget that you made those same mistakes your kids are now making? Coach them. They are learning more than just the game you're playing. They are learning the game of life.

Has your desire for power and money blinded you to the needs of others?

Are your egotistical insecurities preventing you from thinking about how your employees might produce better if they experienced leadership rather than tyranny?

Leaders communicate. Pretenders destroy.

The Communication Skills of Albus Dumbledore

WHY HIS FAMOUS FOUR WORDS FAILED TO COMMUNICATE

Because this blog focuses on communications skills, this issue will focus on why many people stumble in their careers because of a "failure to communicate."

Many of you who read the first Harry Potter book or saw the first movie might remember the immortal words of Albus Dumbledore.

"I would like to say a few words. And here they are:

Nitwit
Blubber
Oddment
Tweal"

Hardly the words of a great communicator!

Oddly enough, many of us blubber on and sound like nitwits to others because we think we are communicating when we are not.

Many of you have probably learned that, in communication, you have a sender, a receiver, and feedback. Those are the components of communication, but that does not tell us what communication is.

And therein lies the problem.

How can we communicate successfully if we don't know what communication really is?

When I ask people what communication is, here is one answer I hear.

"Communication is the dissemination of information."

What do you think? Yuk!

Let me share another definition I get.

"Communication is the transfer of ideas"

Buy that? I don't.

I also get this answer.

"Communication is the exchange of information."

Still not close.

Pretend that two weeks ago, I sent each of you a letter after you signed up for one of my workshops. The first line of that letter said, "When you come to the workshop, please bring a paradigm of communication with you."

Trust me. I did not use the word "paradigm" to impress you.

But think about that. I sent you a letter and the first sentence asked you to bring a "paradigm" of communication.

The word "paradigm" in that context helps me prove two points.

First, far too many people who attend my workshops do not know or are not sure what that word means.

Second, those who know what it means may use the word to impress others who do not know what it means.

Pretend for a moment that you do not know what the word means.

When you read that first sentence of my letter asking you to bring a "paradigm," you will do one of four things.

The first thing you might do is throw it away.

In your mind you would say to yourself, "Who is this clown trying to impress?"

If you throw away the letter, I failed to get the results I was looking for.

If you don't throw the letter away, the second thing you might do is "assume." You would assume that reading the rest of the letter would explain what the word "paradigm" meant.

Or, you would assume that the word carried little value and that the remainder of the letter would explain the important information.

The third thing you might do is ask the next twelve people who walk by your desk, "What's a paradigm?"

They don't know either! That wastes time. Your goal when communicating should be to save time. You want to save time for you and the people with whom you communicate.

So, finally in total frustration, you resort to the last resort.

You look up the word in the dictionary or you "Google" it.

You read the definition, reread my letter, check the definition one more time to see if I used it properly, and you say to yourself, "I'm going to fix his wagon."

So, you write me a letter and you say, "We don't have any paradigms around here, but we have a lot of affamits."

I have no idea what an "affamit" is.

Check out what just happened.

We have just disseminated information.

We have just transferred ideas.

We have just exchanged information.

Has communication taken place? Not even close.

As far as I know, affamits don't exist.

We do have a thing called a paradigm. Before I tell you what a paradigm is, let me tell you what communication is.

The word "communication" comes from a Latin word that means "to share."

That's why everything today is ".com."

The concept of the Internet was to "share" information.

Before you share something with someone, one other condition must exist.

You must care. You must care enough that they understand what you've said. You don't have to like the person; you don't have to agree with the person to communicate.

If I looked at Janet and said, "Janet, this is the best writing program you'll ever attend."

Janet looks at me and says, "Borowski, you're full of canal water."

Are we communicating? Sure we are.

You don't have to like the person or agree with the person.

She understands what I'm saying and I understand what she's saying. At least, we are communicating.

Communication simply means caring enough to ensure people understand your words the same way you do.

That brings us back to the word, "paradigm."

Originally, the word was pronounced, "Paradim." And, it was defined as "a pattern, a model or an example by which you are supposed to learn something about the structure of the English language."

Today, those who think they know what it means pronounce the word "paradime," and to them it simply means "a pattern or a model."

If we apply the "caring" and "sharing" attitude to communication, we see how miscommunication takes place.

Using one pronunciation and meaning with a person who uses the other pronunciation and definition clearly causes a "failure to communicate."

So what is the solution? Do not assume you are communicating. Check back to ensure your messages are clear, correct and understood.