Effective leadership depends on effective communication.
Unfortunately, effective leadership is sadly lacking in all levels of our society.
A miserable, but typical, lack of leadership jumped out at me at a recent High School junior varsity football game.
And as usual, this lack of leadership involved the Number One sin of “pretend leaders” - lack of communication.
This story involved a freshman blocking back in his third JV game.
Through most of the first half, he performed his job effectively blocking for the running backs. One of those blocks actually led to his team’s only touchdown.
Near the end of the first half, as can be predicted, the “coach” called a play where the blocking back would carry the ball.
On the play, he was stripped of the ball as he was being tackled.
The opposing player who stripped the ball ran 30 yards, untouched, for a touchdown. This touchdown put them ahead by 16 points.
Remember I mentioned the running back’s team only scored one touchdown on his block.
Can you imagine the embarrassment of having an opposing player take the ball away from you and return it for a touchdown!
What would you do as that running back’s coach?
I hope you would not do what most “pretend leaders” do. Nothing.
What was more shocking about this total lack of leadership was that both coaches, the head coach and assistant coach, let this totally embarrassed player walk off the field without saying one word to him. Zero Communication.
Let’s examine the word – coach.
This was a teachable moment.
A real coach would have called the player over to console, encourage, and instruct him.
A real coach would have reminded the player that even Pro Bowl players fumble the ball once in a while.
A real coach would have shown his confidence in the player, in front of the other players. He must have had confidence in the player if he had played him at that position in the two previous games.
What’s really interesting in this sad tale of miserable leadership is that the blocking back, the night before, had run the ball once in the varsity game and gained eight yards.
I am not being fair to this “coach.”
He did communicate with player. This brilliant coach did not play him at running back the rest of the game. And, he limited his play on defense to two plays on special teams. He very effectively communicated his displeasure to the player.
A real coach would have put the player back in the game immediately and call a play allowing the running back to carry the ball again. I guarantee he would not fumble the ball this time.
Even if you know nothing about football, you know and understand the traits of a leader.
These traits include communication, vision, and risk-taking.
OBJECT LESSON
We suffer from a miserable lack of leadership here in the USA. Why?
Let’s extend this story about this football player out 20 years. He is now 34 years old and has received a promotion to manage a department or division.
When he gets into a situation where an employee makes a mistake, what management approach do you think he will take?
Will he take the employee aside to explain, expand by example, and encourage.
Or will he embarrass the employee in front of his co-workers?
The basic problem with our lack of leadership in America is that we lack role models.
Look at the corporate world. Look at our political “leaders.” Look at some of the doings of religious leaders.
We see models of greed, awful decision making, lying to the public, immorality, and total lack of regard for the jobs they were elected to perform.
Where does all this start?
Think about the first influences kids see – parents, family, teachers and administrators, religious leaders, police, celebrities, politicians, video games, music.
What are you doing if you are one of those influences listed above to help inspire, train, and encourage our future leaders?
Are you too wrapped up in your own world of daily pressures to think about how your behavior molds the character of the people around you?
Are you a youth “coach” trying to recapture your youth through the kids you’re supposed to be coaching? Did you forget that you made those same mistakes your kids are now making? Coach them. They are learning more than just the game you're playing. They are learning the game of life.
Has your desire for power and money blinded you to the needs of others?
Are your egotistical insecurities preventing you from thinking about how your employees might produce better if they experienced leadership rather than tyranny?
Leaders communicate. Pretenders destroy.
Showing posts with label communication skills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication skills. Show all posts
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Time-saving E-mail Tip
You can save time and create more effective e-mails with a few settings available in your e-mail system.
First, if you haven't already done so, set your e-mail package to automatically spell check your message before it goes out.
And, set it to suggest replacements for misspelled words.
Doing so allows you to take advantage of the full capability of this software feature.
But that's not the best part!
Now that you have these features set, you no longer need to correct your spelling in the editing or proofreading stages.
Correcting your spelling while creating, editing or proofreading your e-mail actually slows you down and could distract you.
Here's where the magic comes in.
The magic assumes two things.
First, we have to assume you actually read your e-mails before you send them.
Reading and sometimes editing your e-mails before you send them is both common sense and common courtesy.
As you proofread it for content, tone, and grammar, forget about correcting misspelled words at this point
As you proofread, you may see misspelled words. DON'T correct them while you're proofreading.
The only words you should correct before hitting the "Send" button are obvious mistakes your spell checker would not recognize.
For example, for some strange reason, every time I try to type the word "from" it comes out "form."
To the spell checker, the word is spelled correctly. Unfortunately, that's not the word I want.
Or, watch out for "your" and "you're."
Also, double check "their," they're," and "there."
Your spell check cannot read your mind.
So this is where you need to be careful.
After you have completed your proofreading stage and spotted the obvious spelling errors and the ones the spell check needs your help on, hit "Send."
Because you have already set your system to suggest spellings, any time the spell checker comes to a misspelled word, it will stop and ask you which spelling you want.
Select the spelling you want and hit okay.
Rather than taking the time to correct it in the writing and proofing stages, you let the computer do the work.
Now for a final word of caution.
I did tell you to proofread your e-mail before hitting the "Send" button. You, not your spell checker, are still responsible for your correct spellings.
I call it "The Porogram Principle."
I once thought I spelled the word "program" correctly in my word processor.
Actually, I spelled the word, "porogram."
Because I had placed the cursor after the word "porogram," the spell checker did not catch the mistake.
When I printed the document, I noticed the misspelling.
I then repeated my original mistake of not placing the cursor in the correct position and again, the spell checker accepted "porogram."
Frustrated by this, I decided to "Google" the word "porogram."
To my amazement, I discovered that Google listed 47,200 listings that contained the word, "porogram."
I checked a half dozen of the listings trying to uncover the mysterious definition of the word.
All I discovered was that 47,200 other people had misspelled the word in their documents and those documents made their way out into the world wide web.
So what does all of this mean?
1. Set your e-mail package to automatically spell check your message before it goes out.
2. Set it to suggest replacements for misspelled words
3. Select the correct spelling of the word when prompted by the spell checker rather than typing the correct word.
If you are a speed typist, this tip may not prove to save you time.
If you type as slowly as I do, you should save time.
And possibly, you could become more effective because you are concentrating on your message, rather than your spelling.
Let me know what you think.
First, if you haven't already done so, set your e-mail package to automatically spell check your message before it goes out.
And, set it to suggest replacements for misspelled words.
Doing so allows you to take advantage of the full capability of this software feature.
But that's not the best part!
Now that you have these features set, you no longer need to correct your spelling in the editing or proofreading stages.
Correcting your spelling while creating, editing or proofreading your e-mail actually slows you down and could distract you.
Here's where the magic comes in.
The magic assumes two things.
First, we have to assume you actually read your e-mails before you send them.
Reading and sometimes editing your e-mails before you send them is both common sense and common courtesy.
As you proofread it for content, tone, and grammar, forget about correcting misspelled words at this point
As you proofread, you may see misspelled words. DON'T correct them while you're proofreading.
The only words you should correct before hitting the "Send" button are obvious mistakes your spell checker would not recognize.
For example, for some strange reason, every time I try to type the word "from" it comes out "form."
To the spell checker, the word is spelled correctly. Unfortunately, that's not the word I want.
Or, watch out for "your" and "you're."
Also, double check "their," they're," and "there."
Your spell check cannot read your mind.
So this is where you need to be careful.
After you have completed your proofreading stage and spotted the obvious spelling errors and the ones the spell check needs your help on, hit "Send."
Because you have already set your system to suggest spellings, any time the spell checker comes to a misspelled word, it will stop and ask you which spelling you want.
Select the spelling you want and hit okay.
Rather than taking the time to correct it in the writing and proofing stages, you let the computer do the work.
Now for a final word of caution.
I did tell you to proofread your e-mail before hitting the "Send" button. You, not your spell checker, are still responsible for your correct spellings.
I call it "The Porogram Principle."
I once thought I spelled the word "program" correctly in my word processor.
Actually, I spelled the word, "porogram."
Because I had placed the cursor after the word "porogram," the spell checker did not catch the mistake.
When I printed the document, I noticed the misspelling.
I then repeated my original mistake of not placing the cursor in the correct position and again, the spell checker accepted "porogram."
Frustrated by this, I decided to "Google" the word "porogram."
To my amazement, I discovered that Google listed 47,200 listings that contained the word, "porogram."
I checked a half dozen of the listings trying to uncover the mysterious definition of the word.
All I discovered was that 47,200 other people had misspelled the word in their documents and those documents made their way out into the world wide web.
So what does all of this mean?
1. Set your e-mail package to automatically spell check your message before it goes out.
2. Set it to suggest replacements for misspelled words
3. Select the correct spelling of the word when prompted by the spell checker rather than typing the correct word.
If you are a speed typist, this tip may not prove to save you time.
If you type as slowly as I do, you should save time.
And possibly, you could become more effective because you are concentrating on your message, rather than your spelling.
Let me know what you think.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Why Business Writing Can Become Challenging
Many people struggle with business writing.
And, because of that, they waste a lot of time, become frustrated, and do not get the results they want or expect.
Let me share with you a couple of reasons why so many business professionals struggle with their business writing.
Let's talk about "how" we communicate.
We communicate in only two ways - verbally and nonverbally.
The word "verbal" means written and spoken. Many people think the word "verbal" only means spoken.
That's not true. The word "verbal" means written and spoken.
The verbal part includes the words you use and the tone you project with your words. If people do not understand those words, that communication will go nowhere. If your readers understand those words, then the tone you use - how you say it - might become more important than the words.
The nonverbal signals we send with our body language reveals much more than the actual words we use. When we slam doors with frowns on our faces and let out exasperated sighs of disgust, we are letting people know we are not happy. We don't say a word, but people get the message.
Another example of nonverbal signals is eye contact.
Have you ever walked into someone's office and said "Hey Joe. I've got a great idea."
Joe responds in a low, monotone pestered sounding voice, "Yeah, go ahead, tell me about it."
And, Joe never looks at you. He continues looking down at the pile of papers he was working on.
Or, he gets up from the desk by placing both hands flat on the desk to push himself up. Once he's up, he folds his arms behind his back (I guess that's so he doesn't hit you).
Then he starts pacing. While he paces, he checks the floor, checks the ceiling tiles, looks out the window to see if anyone stole his car, and finally checks his watch to make sure he brought it with him.
All this while, he never looks at you. Does that mean he's not listening? No!
He hears every word you say. How does that make you feel?
Right! About one inch tall.
Volumes of evidence show how nonverbals affect communication. For now, let's focus on how the nonverbal affect your writing.
When you write a letter, memo, report, or proposal, do you have the benefit of these nonverbal signals? No. We've wiped out more than half your ability to communicate.
Now do you understand why writing becomes so difficult?
We have grown so accustomed to communicating by using the nonverbal of our body language. We become frustrated when we cannot communicate as effectively on paper.
This is also why you would prefer to talk to someone, rather than write him or her a memo or letter.
In speech, you have the benefit of reading that person's nonverbals or having them read yours.
In writing, we must rely on words and tone. That's it, words and tone.
You do have some nonverbal. If you wrote an important letter to a customer in pencil, wrinkled it while putting it in the envelope, spilled coffee on it while you were writing it, misspelled the person's name, and sent it four weeks late, I think that's nonverbal.
For the most part, when you write, you do not have the benefit of nonverbal signals. That's why writing is so tough.
And, because of that, they waste a lot of time, become frustrated, and do not get the results they want or expect.
Let me share with you a couple of reasons why so many business professionals struggle with their business writing.
Let's talk about "how" we communicate.
We communicate in only two ways - verbally and nonverbally.
The word "verbal" means written and spoken. Many people think the word "verbal" only means spoken.
That's not true. The word "verbal" means written and spoken.
The verbal part includes the words you use and the tone you project with your words. If people do not understand those words, that communication will go nowhere. If your readers understand those words, then the tone you use - how you say it - might become more important than the words.
The nonverbal signals we send with our body language reveals much more than the actual words we use. When we slam doors with frowns on our faces and let out exasperated sighs of disgust, we are letting people know we are not happy. We don't say a word, but people get the message.
Another example of nonverbal signals is eye contact.
Have you ever walked into someone's office and said "Hey Joe. I've got a great idea."
Joe responds in a low, monotone pestered sounding voice, "Yeah, go ahead, tell me about it."
And, Joe never looks at you. He continues looking down at the pile of papers he was working on.
Or, he gets up from the desk by placing both hands flat on the desk to push himself up. Once he's up, he folds his arms behind his back (I guess that's so he doesn't hit you).
Then he starts pacing. While he paces, he checks the floor, checks the ceiling tiles, looks out the window to see if anyone stole his car, and finally checks his watch to make sure he brought it with him.
All this while, he never looks at you. Does that mean he's not listening? No!
He hears every word you say. How does that make you feel?
Right! About one inch tall.
Volumes of evidence show how nonverbals affect communication. For now, let's focus on how the nonverbal affect your writing.
When you write a letter, memo, report, or proposal, do you have the benefit of these nonverbal signals? No. We've wiped out more than half your ability to communicate.
Now do you understand why writing becomes so difficult?
We have grown so accustomed to communicating by using the nonverbal of our body language. We become frustrated when we cannot communicate as effectively on paper.
This is also why you would prefer to talk to someone, rather than write him or her a memo or letter.
In speech, you have the benefit of reading that person's nonverbals or having them read yours.
In writing, we must rely on words and tone. That's it, words and tone.
You do have some nonverbal. If you wrote an important letter to a customer in pencil, wrinkled it while putting it in the envelope, spilled coffee on it while you were writing it, misspelled the person's name, and sent it four weeks late, I think that's nonverbal.
For the most part, when you write, you do not have the benefit of nonverbal signals. That's why writing is so tough.
Monday, February 19, 2007
FIVE RULES FOR USING VOICE MAIL CORRECTLY
Quickly! Name three things that drive you nuts about Voice Mail.
Let's see how close you came to my three.
1. People who ramble on and seldom get to the point
2. People who don't leave a message
3. People who mumble their telephone numbers so that I have to
play the message five times to get the number
I'm sure your list included little irritations such as:
1. People who do not leave their number
2. People who assume you know who is calling and don't identify
themselves
3. People who are not sure or clear why they called
But the message here is clear.
A lot of people are missing a great opportunity when they use
Voice Mail.
To ensure you never fall into one of the categories above, please
consider Five Rules for Using Voice Mail Correctly.
1. Approach Voice Mail with a positive attitude.
The chances are extremely high that when you call someone, you
will hear that person's Voice Mail message. Consider these
circumstances a great opportunity.
If you are making a business-to-business call, you should welcome
Voice Mail. This is your invitation to present a 30 second
commercial for yourself.
This is your chance to exhibit the true professionalism that
creates rapport, builds trust, and forms relationships. It is
your chance to show the person at the other end of the line that
you value and care about her or him.
When you commit one of the six sins mentioned above, you destroy
all sense of professionalism.
2. Expect to leave a message.
If you approach Voice Mail with a positive attitude, you will
save time. You will save yourself time and you will save time for
the person on the other end.
Let me explain. Before picking up the phone, prepare yourself for
the possibility of leaving a Voice Mail message by thinking
through or scripting out what you plan to say.
For example, if you are calling someone to ask them a question,
ask the question. Doing so can prevent a long game of telephone
tag because it allows the person at the other end to think
through or research the answer and then call you back.
That person may have to leave the answer on your Voice Mail, but
at least you now have an answer. That scenario is much better
than playing an endless game of telephone tag.
3. Do a Core Dump.
A Core Dump is a three step process I teach Business Writing
participants in my workshops that helps them organize their
thoughts before writing. It works equally well before picking up
the phone.
The three steps are:
a. On paper, dump all the thoughts you have running around in
your head about the reason you are about to call someone. You need to do this
to help you focus on your message.
You spend a lot of time multi-processing during the day. The Core
Dump will help you cut through everything going on in your
business and personal life to concentrate on what you need to say
to the person you are calling.
b. From everything you've dumped on that paper, select no more
than three things you need to tell or ask that person.
c. Rank those three things in the order in which you wish to
express them for maximum impact.
Now, you are ready to make the call. Now, you are ready to leave
a clear, concise, complete and conversational message.
4. Slow down; speak clearly; show respect.
You show respect for that person and that person's time by
clearly and slowly stating your name at least twice and repeating
your call back number at least twice. Remember, slowly and
clearly, twice.
5. Remember those two magical words.
I am embarrassed that I even have to remind you about this. But,
so many people neglect to say these words nowadays, I must end
this article with them.
Thank you.
Let's see how close you came to my three.
1. People who ramble on and seldom get to the point
2. People who don't leave a message
3. People who mumble their telephone numbers so that I have to
play the message five times to get the number
I'm sure your list included little irritations such as:
1. People who do not leave their number
2. People who assume you know who is calling and don't identify
themselves
3. People who are not sure or clear why they called
But the message here is clear.
A lot of people are missing a great opportunity when they use
Voice Mail.
To ensure you never fall into one of the categories above, please
consider Five Rules for Using Voice Mail Correctly.
1. Approach Voice Mail with a positive attitude.
The chances are extremely high that when you call someone, you
will hear that person's Voice Mail message. Consider these
circumstances a great opportunity.
If you are making a business-to-business call, you should welcome
Voice Mail. This is your invitation to present a 30 second
commercial for yourself.
This is your chance to exhibit the true professionalism that
creates rapport, builds trust, and forms relationships. It is
your chance to show the person at the other end of the line that
you value and care about her or him.
When you commit one of the six sins mentioned above, you destroy
all sense of professionalism.
2. Expect to leave a message.
If you approach Voice Mail with a positive attitude, you will
save time. You will save yourself time and you will save time for
the person on the other end.
Let me explain. Before picking up the phone, prepare yourself for
the possibility of leaving a Voice Mail message by thinking
through or scripting out what you plan to say.
For example, if you are calling someone to ask them a question,
ask the question. Doing so can prevent a long game of telephone
tag because it allows the person at the other end to think
through or research the answer and then call you back.
That person may have to leave the answer on your Voice Mail, but
at least you now have an answer. That scenario is much better
than playing an endless game of telephone tag.
3. Do a Core Dump.
A Core Dump is a three step process I teach Business Writing
participants in my workshops that helps them organize their
thoughts before writing. It works equally well before picking up
the phone.
The three steps are:
a. On paper, dump all the thoughts you have running around in
your head about the reason you are about to call someone. You need to do this
to help you focus on your message.
You spend a lot of time multi-processing during the day. The Core
Dump will help you cut through everything going on in your
business and personal life to concentrate on what you need to say
to the person you are calling.
b. From everything you've dumped on that paper, select no more
than three things you need to tell or ask that person.
c. Rank those three things in the order in which you wish to
express them for maximum impact.
Now, you are ready to make the call. Now, you are ready to leave
a clear, concise, complete and conversational message.
4. Slow down; speak clearly; show respect.
You show respect for that person and that person's time by
clearly and slowly stating your name at least twice and repeating
your call back number at least twice. Remember, slowly and
clearly, twice.
5. Remember those two magical words.
I am embarrassed that I even have to remind you about this. But,
so many people neglect to say these words nowadays, I must end
this article with them.
Thank you.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The Communication Skills of Albus Dumbledore
WHY HIS FAMOUS FOUR WORDS FAILED TO COMMUNICATE
Because this blog focuses on communications skills, this issue will focus on why many people stumble in their careers because of a "failure to communicate."
Many of you who read the first Harry Potter book or saw the first movie might remember the immortal words of Albus Dumbledore.
"I would like to say a few words. And here they are:
Nitwit
Blubber
Oddment
Tweal"
Hardly the words of a great communicator!
Oddly enough, many of us blubber on and sound like nitwits to others because we think we are communicating when we are not.
Many of you have probably learned that, in communication, you have a sender, a receiver, and feedback. Those are the components of communication, but that does not tell us what communication is.
And therein lies the problem.
How can we communicate successfully if we don't know what communication really is?
When I ask people what communication is, here is one answer I hear.
"Communication is the dissemination of information."
What do you think? Yuk!
Let me share another definition I get.
"Communication is the transfer of ideas"
Buy that? I don't.
I also get this answer.
"Communication is the exchange of information."
Still not close.
Pretend that two weeks ago, I sent each of you a letter after you signed up for one of my workshops. The first line of that letter said, "When you come to the workshop, please bring a paradigm of communication with you."
Trust me. I did not use the word "paradigm" to impress you.
But think about that. I sent you a letter and the first sentence asked you to bring a "paradigm" of communication.
The word "paradigm" in that context helps me prove two points.
First, far too many people who attend my workshops do not know or are not sure what that word means.
Second, those who know what it means may use the word to impress others who do not know what it means.
Pretend for a moment that you do not know what the word means.
When you read that first sentence of my letter asking you to bring a "paradigm," you will do one of four things.
The first thing you might do is throw it away.
In your mind you would say to yourself, "Who is this clown trying to impress?"
If you throw away the letter, I failed to get the results I was looking for.
If you don't throw the letter away, the second thing you might do is "assume." You would assume that reading the rest of the letter would explain what the word "paradigm" meant.
Or, you would assume that the word carried little value and that the remainder of the letter would explain the important information.
The third thing you might do is ask the next twelve people who walk by your desk, "What's a paradigm?"
They don't know either! That wastes time. Your goal when communicating should be to save time. You want to save time for you and the people with whom you communicate.
So, finally in total frustration, you resort to the last resort.
You look up the word in the dictionary or you "Google" it.
You read the definition, reread my letter, check the definition one more time to see if I used it properly, and you say to yourself, "I'm going to fix his wagon."
So, you write me a letter and you say, "We don't have any paradigms around here, but we have a lot of affamits."
I have no idea what an "affamit" is.
Check out what just happened.
We have just disseminated information.
We have just transferred ideas.
We have just exchanged information.
Has communication taken place? Not even close.
As far as I know, affamits don't exist.
We do have a thing called a paradigm. Before I tell you what a paradigm is, let me tell you what communication is.
The word "communication" comes from a Latin word that means "to share."
That's why everything today is ".com."
The concept of the Internet was to "share" information.
Before you share something with someone, one other condition must exist.
You must care. You must care enough that they understand what you've said. You don't have to like the person; you don't have to agree with the person to communicate.
If I looked at Janet and said, "Janet, this is the best writing program you'll ever attend."
Janet looks at me and says, "Borowski, you're full of canal water."
Are we communicating? Sure we are.
You don't have to like the person or agree with the person.
She understands what I'm saying and I understand what she's saying. At least, we are communicating.
Communication simply means caring enough to ensure people understand your words the same way you do.
That brings us back to the word, "paradigm."
Originally, the word was pronounced, "Paradim." And, it was defined as "a pattern, a model or an example by which you are supposed to learn something about the structure of the English language."
Today, those who think they know what it means pronounce the word "paradime," and to them it simply means "a pattern or a model."
If we apply the "caring" and "sharing" attitude to communication, we see how miscommunication takes place.
Using one pronunciation and meaning with a person who uses the other pronunciation and definition clearly causes a "failure to communicate."
So what is the solution? Do not assume you are communicating. Check back to ensure your messages are clear, correct and understood.
Because this blog focuses on communications skills, this issue will focus on why many people stumble in their careers because of a "failure to communicate."
Many of you who read the first Harry Potter book or saw the first movie might remember the immortal words of Albus Dumbledore.
"I would like to say a few words. And here they are:
Nitwit
Blubber
Oddment
Tweal"
Hardly the words of a great communicator!
Oddly enough, many of us blubber on and sound like nitwits to others because we think we are communicating when we are not.
Many of you have probably learned that, in communication, you have a sender, a receiver, and feedback. Those are the components of communication, but that does not tell us what communication is.
And therein lies the problem.
How can we communicate successfully if we don't know what communication really is?
When I ask people what communication is, here is one answer I hear.
"Communication is the dissemination of information."
What do you think? Yuk!
Let me share another definition I get.
"Communication is the transfer of ideas"
Buy that? I don't.
I also get this answer.
"Communication is the exchange of information."
Still not close.
Pretend that two weeks ago, I sent each of you a letter after you signed up for one of my workshops. The first line of that letter said, "When you come to the workshop, please bring a paradigm of communication with you."
Trust me. I did not use the word "paradigm" to impress you.
But think about that. I sent you a letter and the first sentence asked you to bring a "paradigm" of communication.
The word "paradigm" in that context helps me prove two points.
First, far too many people who attend my workshops do not know or are not sure what that word means.
Second, those who know what it means may use the word to impress others who do not know what it means.
Pretend for a moment that you do not know what the word means.
When you read that first sentence of my letter asking you to bring a "paradigm," you will do one of four things.
The first thing you might do is throw it away.
In your mind you would say to yourself, "Who is this clown trying to impress?"
If you throw away the letter, I failed to get the results I was looking for.
If you don't throw the letter away, the second thing you might do is "assume." You would assume that reading the rest of the letter would explain what the word "paradigm" meant.
Or, you would assume that the word carried little value and that the remainder of the letter would explain the important information.
The third thing you might do is ask the next twelve people who walk by your desk, "What's a paradigm?"
They don't know either! That wastes time. Your goal when communicating should be to save time. You want to save time for you and the people with whom you communicate.
So, finally in total frustration, you resort to the last resort.
You look up the word in the dictionary or you "Google" it.
You read the definition, reread my letter, check the definition one more time to see if I used it properly, and you say to yourself, "I'm going to fix his wagon."
So, you write me a letter and you say, "We don't have any paradigms around here, but we have a lot of affamits."
I have no idea what an "affamit" is.
Check out what just happened.
We have just disseminated information.
We have just transferred ideas.
We have just exchanged information.
Has communication taken place? Not even close.
As far as I know, affamits don't exist.
We do have a thing called a paradigm. Before I tell you what a paradigm is, let me tell you what communication is.
The word "communication" comes from a Latin word that means "to share."
That's why everything today is ".com."
The concept of the Internet was to "share" information.
Before you share something with someone, one other condition must exist.
You must care. You must care enough that they understand what you've said. You don't have to like the person; you don't have to agree with the person to communicate.
If I looked at Janet and said, "Janet, this is the best writing program you'll ever attend."
Janet looks at me and says, "Borowski, you're full of canal water."
Are we communicating? Sure we are.
You don't have to like the person or agree with the person.
She understands what I'm saying and I understand what she's saying. At least, we are communicating.
Communication simply means caring enough to ensure people understand your words the same way you do.
That brings us back to the word, "paradigm."
Originally, the word was pronounced, "Paradim." And, it was defined as "a pattern, a model or an example by which you are supposed to learn something about the structure of the English language."
Today, those who think they know what it means pronounce the word "paradime," and to them it simply means "a pattern or a model."
If we apply the "caring" and "sharing" attitude to communication, we see how miscommunication takes place.
Using one pronunciation and meaning with a person who uses the other pronunciation and definition clearly causes a "failure to communicate."
So what is the solution? Do not assume you are communicating. Check back to ensure your messages are clear, correct and understood.
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